Cruel

I.

I didn't need
a haircut,
me and royal crown
pomenade
were doing just fine.

But,
I went anyways.

Some believe there is a plan,
a plan to the universe: divine, mathimatical or subatomic.
The universe tilting, shoving, exploding and expanding all guiding us to the place we need to be, like a cosmic pinball machine..
even with
something as simple as a trim.

The last time i came here,
it took three armenian translators to get my hair cut.
but thats
ok.
I enjoy alittle
risk, i enjoy living dangerously,
i like suprises.

Today was the day i met you.

II.

I
have always been facinated by
stories of how people meet.
sometimes they "just"
meet.

the universe flipping switches, winding, turning knobs, and pulling levers, as people meet,
in supermarkets, circuses, rehabs, opera's, weddings, churches, dancefloors, gasstations, bars, and prisons everyday.

Today was the day i met you.

You were friendly,
but i know its
part of the job.
But you seemed genuine, and caring.
Far more than needed
for gratuity.

You told me about your
daddy,
and
your sensual poems.

You were too cool.

You were an artist.
You were funny,
you wore those
pants that i
make fun of, on
other people.

I tried to play it cool,
but
I'm not.

I didn't want to be,
"that guy"
(I am not another guy overtaken by beauty, not another guy peddleling his lines at the market. not another guy who just kneels and prays without asking to see the menu.)

I am not "that guy".


I am:
Created by the divine spark of god. I am, a criminal mastermind, a
saint, and an angel. I believe in magic even though i'm a horrible
speller.I am a fun date, a hooker with a heart of gold, and well
respected man about town. I am stand up, and stand for. gunslinger,
gun for hire. I am brave, silly, and can take a punch.Bring home the bacon and to
your mom, because she warned you about me. I am brown skin, an inside man, and outside the box. i am kind. I have slow hands that move like they
know what they doing. I am out of tune, two left feet, but the life
of your political party. The last of the famous international playboys, and
the boy next door. Thief of hearts, and Jack of all trades. I am,
just your average hero.
I am just like you.

but i am not "that guy".

I have been compromising, shortchanging, sabotaging,
and settling for less
since i got back.

taking one for the team, for too long.
you were too cool.

it all made sense again.
i knew why again.
i wanted to
try
again.

I didn't need
a haircut,
me and royal crown
pomenade
were doing just fine.

Then I met you.
I wish i never had.

its not everyday you find exactly what you've been looking for.
its not everyday you find exactly what you've
waited for,
and then hand
a tip, mumble something incoherent and wave goodbye.

this is cruel.



08'