Friday, October 28, 2011

Deus Ex Machina

My father was a
villain.

A real bastard.

He taught me to take
a beating like a champ.

And
like a slot machine, he
gambled
on what sort man he would make
out of his son,
each time he raised his arm.

two strokes calmed him down,
for awhile, and only for awhile.

he became a bastard
from his wheelchair too.

There were times I'd damn him
to hell,
even though I do not
believe in hell.

There were times I'd pray
for him,
and times I'd see him pray,
(perhaps for me).

I was sure He
loved me,
the way a god loves his creations.

The way God loves
the serpent
the locust
the weed

My father was a villain,
until one day he wasn't.

One day it stopped.

It just stopped
like the way
it stops raining
or
the way a match goes out.

It just stopped
as if God had some free time
between wars and famine to resolve
this drama.

Whatever the reason, it does not
matter anymore.

I forgive him, I love him.

My father was a villain,
He was.

11'

13 comments:

  1. Your honesty is delicately weaved throughout this poem, and that is where it's strength lies.

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  2. forgiveness is divine to have ,

    glad to see your charming new post,

    feel free to share a piece of your poetry with our poetry picnic tomorrow,

    http://gooseberrygoespoetic.blogspot.com/

    bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can relate, except for the end. It really never stopped. Well written piece. Oddly, my poem this week is the other side of the coin. It explains how I survived and became who I am: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/mom-was-always-there-2/

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  4. I completely understand, but I couldn't have put it into words. This is amazing. Eloquent work.

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  5. It is amazing how you put these emotions into writing. The end was honest and elegant.

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  6. Love this! You seriously never disappoint - I'm always pleased to find your link in the rally. I love the idea of God loving him the same way he loves the serpent, locust, and weed - powerful idea. I wish I could sit down and have coffee with you to discuss the concept of hell...

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  7. This is incredibly touching, and I salute your honesty. Although my father was never violent towards me, he was towards my mother and I can never forgive him for that. I admire your strength.

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  8. Amazing write. Raw, real, emotive and unsentimental...

    "I was sure He
    loved me,
    the way a god loves his creations.

    The way God loves
    the serpent
    the locust
    the weed

    My father was a villain,
    until one day he wasn't.

    One day it stopped.

    It just stopped
    like the way
    it stops raining
    or
    the way a match goes out."

    Okay I just quoted a third of your poem :) but these lines are stunning.

    ReplyDelete
  9. wow, this is such a touching and honest poem. the first lines grab your attention immediately. i like the part you wrote about God loves the serpent, the locust, the weed, really potent stuff. glad i came across this poem.

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  10. A lots of strength must be needed to write such a powerful and honest poem...as well as to go through such a storm of emotions as a child...

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  11. powerful skills,
    wow

    hope that you have enjoyed poets rally week 55,

    hope to see you at rally week 56 today.

    ReplyDelete

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