Monday, January 15, 2024

Aquarius X

"Yesterday, I was the dream weaver,

 but now I am reborn

I was the Walrus, but now I am John."  -J L


{Draft 1}

Monday, December 11, 2023

10 Reasons I Wanna Write Part 1


 (As posed in Writing Down the Bones by N. Goldberg
)

I want to write because...

1) the 17 year old still in me, is still trying so fucking hard to impress her.

2) Bukowski made personal truth seem more important than fitting in.

3) I'm sad.

4) I want to use poetry as bait, to land and fall in love with a girl whose mother and father loved her, and raised her to not be broken, maybe she'll let me in on the secret.

5) I never got tattoos in the 90 like a fucken idiot, and I wanna be interesting. 

6) I want to join the Velvet Underground, are they still a thing.

7)  I'm not the worst at it, or at least that's what it says on the box.

8) I forget what Eight was for.

9) I got a couple poems published, it was a treat to see the book in a Barnes and Noble, and when I die I will live on in those poems, and in those books like a ghost. I wanna fill it up with many ghosts to haunt that bitch, like the Haunted Mansion ride.

10) I can only really connect with you in art, I secretly  don't like you.


Wednesday, December 06, 2023

Pirates of the Not Caring After Being There

{workin draft)



I’m on my way

You drew me a map and on it an x -

It

Marked the spot. 

You buried me deep down-


Like a

Pirate. 

Saving booty for 

The shipwreck sailors 

Holding limes for scurvy 

(expand scurrvy to coded std on then a fuked up you cant give what yo dont have motif)

Peg legs to jam into square holes

And parrots who don’t feel like talking.


I know the map by heart

And I got a ship too

I follow the stars 

I follow the tabloids  

I follow you on the Gram


I know where I’m going 

My tattoos suggest as much


Where I’m going 

Is where you’ve been

Returning to the the scene of the 



I would offer my condolence to men 

who worshiip the 

ground you walk on

But I've no love

for Landlbbbers?


Singing

Yo hoo Yo hoo hoo 


Shots fired

saying

"The  cannon balls on this guy" 


leaving you on your knee

or fetal postion 

crying 

Arrrrrrrrrrr






Monday, December 04, 2023

Atoms


We close our eyes-


It is cold ,

but we are looking for a moment 

where the absence of light and color 

reveals the world outside-

 

not the one

that only exists 

inside our minds. 


We are in a chilly darkness

where everything disappears 


Invisible

atoms of air 

enter you,

you exhale -


I breathe in 

atoms 

of air 


In the invisible world the atoms

Connect

Share

Exchange


We know that tree is still there-

Right? 


That there’s still a moon-

"Of course it is!"


That  when I open my eyes you’ll still be 

there-

She says "That’s down right Cartesian" 


Cogito ergo sum baby 

Cogito ergo sum


Thursday, November 30, 2023

Bitch Please


Don't say that

Don't do that


Think this

Think that


We don't use those words


You must be this

or else 

I wont be that


You must be 

Be exactly like me


We are not allowed to 

say

do

think


Or else 

Or else


Bitch Please, 

it’s not my fault you can’t make

Art. 

Putting the Fun back In

( From the Death is Just a Number Series)


The family fell apart.


My fault 

they insist.


Final straw and whatnot.


Bullshit I say.


Nothing last forever,

even their stupid and petty hate.


I find funerals have

a funny way of 

bringing people together.


You can tell everything 

you 

wish you could say then.


In that silence 

you can imagine whatever bullshit

you want.


but 

even

6 feet of dirt

pine box

and 

a terrible case of dead


You'll hear a bird singing beautifully-


It will be me

singing 

"Fuck You!"











Friday, November 24, 2023

There's plenty of Time

(From the Death is Just a Number Series)


I could hear your voice for a second say

"Don't trip chocolate chip"

The last time we spoke was about 15 years ago-

Where did the time go? 


You died in the pandemic

I didn't attend 

the funeral.


I tried to reach your mother.

I tried.

There was no time.


We fought.  But we never mended.

I was gonna try,

one day. 

There was no time.


I  came to conclusion your what I imagined my father was like at our age.

A dick. 

But you were my like my brother,

I was a dick too.


You told me I'd marry the first girl 

who'd fuck me.


No, she went on to fuck and breed with someone else.

She loved me, but I didn't know I was too broken.


Your dumb ass knocked up a virgin on a first date, she didn't love you.

But your baby did-


No one loved me after that, 

even the ones that said they did,

 even the ones that swore they did-

My mother tells the same lie.


I came home broken 

to be further broken

and I stopped caring.


I floated 

in this swamp 

like a lotus 

trying to stay pure

just

waiting to die.


I'm still waiting.


I don't know how to love anyone

or anything.

There's no time left to learn.


There's no time

to forgive those who hurt us

to forgive love not returned

to forgive violence and humiliations for spectacle -


But then I remember

Death is Not the End dear friend-


We choose or loved ones before we are born-

I loved you so much-

I will see you again as we have for so many incarnations before and so many after.


Its all an illusion-

there's plenty of time because there is no time.

Time is an illusion


And like the Buddha 

for a second I can hear you say 

"Don't trip chocolate Chip"


There is 

only light

only love

only hope


There's no time.

There's no time to waste


Between the two of us,

you lived.


For Now



Tuesday, November 07, 2023

Guatefornia

 

1st draft the Barnes and noble version 



Some people leave their 

Hearts

In San Francisco-

Some 

Sing California 

Girls[

[use the lyrics to that old timely song]

Some place so 

Cold and far

[sinatra lady tramp quote?]

And yes

There is 

Gold in dem dar hills

California a promise 

A lie

A prayer

[get rich quick scheme 

And all the hopes 

Of the world 

Are

Born and

Aborted in

California 

Hollywood Dream 

Silicon Valley dream

[place holder reference the polyp vu]

A migrant crop

Field of dreams 

Guatefornia 

Is that dream 

Brothers 

And 

Sisters

————-

Brothers and sisters 

Amen

Okies

Have gone moved back 

To red clay 

Guatefornia is 

Steinbeck 

Vacation tourist

[souvenier. Clever libe]

 Come to fabulous 

Guatefornia 

Migrate to

El Norte 

El Norte

And when 

The tears

Have dried 

Keep going

Norte 

Post card reference 

Follow that star

The once on the walk of 

Fame

Selling star maps

To god of the stars 

In the sky

Called 

Quatezalquato 

Guatefornia 

So far from 

The home you know

The mother who

Said you

Stay pure 

Until something 

Temps you 

So how many quetzals?

Quanto?

Guatefornia 

Where a mother

Raised her child 

Under the rules of La colonia

Talking about the 7 humors 

Like it’s 

Mid evil times 

(With no dinner just {no} tournament]

Guatefornia 

Where a father 

Tries to 

Figure out 

How to put 

Food on the 

Table

And also 

Send money 

Home-

Guatefornia 

Where the kids are 

Raised 

Outside parties

The door 

And singing 

La aurora brilla on birthday 

Guatefornia 

The quetzal 

Flys 

By spreading 

It’s wings 

It loses its beautiful red 

Tail

Each a soul 

Reincarnate

From popul vuh to LA

Guatefornia 

Home 

Promise

Lie ect get pyramid crypto rich quick scheme 

The place that doesn’t blue

That doesn’t 

Have 

A welcome mat.

Guatefornia 

Mira voz 

Quetal

No me tested de tu

Luna de plata de mi serranata 

Guatefornia 

El quetzal 

Lo ?? Poiasia en La

Jolla el pajaro caged 

Triste 

Ninos en 

Jollas 

Llorarando 

Simepre Por vida

Los ninos Los quetzals 

En jollas

Guatefornia 

Brothers and sisters 

Bro 

Dude

Comp se dice

Como se dice

Estonian trieste 

Por mi 

Tierra

Guatefornia 

Punk rock

Tu madre diria 

{Es el demonio 

Y eso yes I y eso }

Goth punk 

Rock

Pero 

No solo en espanol 

Guatefornia 

The popul vuh

Predicted 

The people 

Would be like 

Asleep- 

iPhone 14

Family plan

Mommy hands 

Screen to shut small 

Hands

Teacher  hand iPads instead pride in 

The blood that

Run through 

Their veins 

Astronomers 

Mathematicians

Gods!