"Yesterday, I was the dream weaver,
but now I am reborn
I was the Walrus, but now I am John." -J L
{Draft 1}
"Yesterday, I was the dream weaver,
but now I am reborn
I was the Walrus, but now I am John." -J L
{Draft 1}
I want to write because...
1) the 17 year old still in me, is still trying so fucking hard to impress her.
2) Bukowski made personal truth seem more important than fitting in.
3) I'm sad.
4) I want to use poetry as bait, to land and fall in love with a girl whose mother and father loved her, and raised her to not be broken, maybe she'll let me in on the secret.
5) I never got tattoos in the 90 like a fucken idiot, and I wanna be interesting.
6) I want to join the Velvet Underground, are they still a thing.
7) I'm not the worst at it, or at least that's what it says on the box.
8) I forget what Eight was for.
9) I got a couple poems published, it was a treat to see the book in a Barnes and Noble, and when I die I will live on in those poems, and in those books like a ghost. I wanna fill it up with many ghosts to haunt that bitch, like the Haunted Mansion ride.
10) I can only really connect with you in art, I secretly don't like you.
{workin draft)
I’m on my way
You drew me a map and on it an x -
It
Marked the spot.
You buried me deep down-
Like a
Pirate.
Saving booty for
The shipwreck sailors
Holding limes for scurvy
(expand scurrvy to coded std on then a fuked up you cant give what yo dont have motif)
Peg legs to jam into square holes
And parrots who don’t feel like talking.
I know the map by heart
And I got a ship too
I follow the stars
I follow the tabloids
I follow you on the Gram
I know where I’m going
My tattoos suggest as much
Where I’m going
Is where you’ve been
Returning to the the scene of the
I would offer my condolence to men
who worshiip the
ground you walk on
But I've no love
for Landlbbbers?
Singing
Yo hoo Yo hoo hoo
Shots fired
saying
"The cannon balls on this guy"
leaving you on your knee
or fetal postion
crying
Arrrrrrrrrrr
We close our eyes-
It is cold ,
but we are looking for a moment
where the absence of light and color
reveals the world outside-
not the one
that only exists
inside our minds.
We are in a chilly darkness
where everything disappears
Invisible
atoms of air
enter you,
you exhale -
I breathe in
atoms
of air
In the invisible world the atoms
Connect
Share
Exchange
We know that tree is still there-
Right?
That there’s still a moon-
"Of course it is!"
That when I open my eyes you’ll still be
there-
She says "That’s down right Cartesian"
Cogito ergo sum baby
Cogito ergo sum
Don't do that
Think this
Think that
We don't use those words
You must be this
or else
I wont be that
You must be
Be exactly like me
We are not allowed to
say
do
think
Or else
Or else
Bitch Please,
it’s not my fault you can’t make
Art.
( From the Death is Just a Number Series)
The family fell apart.
My fault
they insist.
Final straw and whatnot.
Bullshit I say.
Nothing last forever,
even their stupid and petty hate.
I find funerals have
a funny way of
bringing people together.
You can tell everything
you
wish you could say then.
In that silence
you can imagine whatever bullshit
you want.
but
even
6 feet of dirt
pine box
and
a terrible case of dead
You'll hear a bird singing beautifully-
It will be me
singing
"Fuck You!"
(From the Death is Just a Number Series)
I could hear your voice for a second say
"Don't trip chocolate chip"
The last time we spoke was about 15 years ago-
Where did the time go?
You died in the pandemic
I didn't attend
the funeral.
I tried to reach your mother.
I tried.
There was no time.
We fought. But we never mended.
I was gonna try,
one day.
There was no time.
I came to conclusion your what I imagined my father was like at our age.
A dick.
But you were my like my brother,
I was a dick too.
You told me I'd marry the first girl
who'd fuck me.
No, she went on to fuck and breed with someone else.
She loved me, but I didn't know I was too broken.
Your dumb ass knocked up a virgin on a first date, she didn't love you.
But your baby did-
No one loved me after that,
even the ones that said they did,
even the ones that swore they did-
My mother tells the same lie.
I came home broken
to be further broken
and I stopped caring.
I floated
in this swamp
like a lotus
trying to stay pure
just
waiting to die.
I'm still waiting.
I don't know how to love anyone
or anything.
There's no time left to learn.
There's no time
to forgive those who hurt us
to forgive love not returned
to forgive violence and humiliations for spectacle -
But then I remember
Death is Not the End dear friend-
We choose or loved ones before we are born-
I loved you so much-
I will see you again as we have for so many incarnations before and so many after.
Its all an illusion-
there's plenty of time because there is no time.
Time is an illusion
And like the Buddha
for a second I can hear you say
"Don't trip chocolate Chip"
There is
only light
only love
only hope
There's no time.
There's no time to waste
Between the two of us,
you lived.
For Now
1st draft the Barnes and noble version
Some people leave their
Hearts
In San Francisco-
Some
Sing California
Girls[
[use the lyrics to that old timely song]
Some place so
Cold and far
[sinatra lady tramp quote?]
And yes
There is
Gold in dem dar hills
California a promise
A lie
A prayer
[get rich quick scheme
And all the hopes
Of the world
Are
Born and
Aborted in
California
Hollywood Dream
Silicon Valley dream
[place holder reference the polyp vu]
A migrant crop
Field of dreams
Guatefornia
Is that dream
Brothers
And
Sisters
————-
Brothers and sisters
Amen
Okies
Have gone moved back
To red clay
Guatefornia is
Steinbeck
Vacation tourist
[souvenier. Clever libe]
Come to fabulous
Guatefornia
Migrate to
El Norte
El Norte
And when
The tears
Have dried
Keep going
Norte
Post card reference
Follow that star
The once on the walk of
Fame
Selling star maps
To god of the stars
In the sky
Called
Quatezalquato
Guatefornia
So far from
The home you know
The mother who
Said you
Stay pure
Until something
Temps you
So how many quetzals?
Quanto?
Guatefornia
Where a mother
Raised her child
Under the rules of La colonia
Talking about the 7 humors
Like it’s
Mid evil times
(With no dinner just {no} tournament]
Guatefornia
Where a father
Tries to
Figure out
How to put
Food on the
Table
And also
Send money
Home-
Guatefornia
Where the kids are
Raised
Outside parties
The door
And singing
La aurora brilla on birthday
Guatefornia
The quetzal
Flys
By spreading
It’s wings
It loses its beautiful red
Tail
Each a soul
Reincarnate
From popul vuh to LA
Guatefornia
Home
Promise
Lie ect get pyramid crypto rich quick scheme
The place that doesn’t blue
That doesn’t
Have
A welcome mat.
Guatefornia
Mira voz
Quetal
No me tested de tu
Luna de plata de mi serranata
Guatefornia
El quetzal
Lo ?? Poiasia en La
Jolla el pajaro caged
Triste
Ninos en
Jollas
Llorarando
Simepre Por vida
Los ninos Los quetzals
En jollas
Guatefornia
Brothers and sisters
Bro
Dude
Comp se dice
Como se dice
Estonian trieste
Por mi
Tierra
Guatefornia
Punk rock
Tu madre diria
{Es el demonio
Y eso yes I y eso }
Goth punk
Rock
Pero
No solo en espanol
Guatefornia
The popul vuh
Predicted
The people
Would be like
Asleep-
iPhone 14
Family plan
Mommy hands
Screen to shut small
Hands
Teacher hand iPads instead pride in
The blood that
Run through
Their veins
Astronomers
Mathematicians
Gods!