'Ardently do today what must be done. Who knows? Tomorrow, death comes"- Da Homie Siddhartha Gautama
I.
II.
This kind of shit just happens
at this dive.
Like the time
the one arm lawyer with
the two chicks from Estonia,
(not prostitutes, I'm sure)
told me he probably knew Morgan
maybe from that lawyer group
or
the StarTrek set
from the time he got beamed up by Hollywood.
But he filled in the blanks
like a wonk about man god and law.
Saying
Morgan never had a chance of winning,
his Bailey Wick,
not mine.
But this time out
I came here to be alone with my thoughts
among the drunks and singers
Getting flittered with by men,
(Flattered but No)
Getting limes with my cans
(I tip well)
Getting a pack smokes after 4 years.
(Reckless-Destructive)
I sing
in anger
I sing
in pain
I sing
like I believe this is the last
thing I will ever say.
I sing
I sing
Amy sings sad songs
tells me she is sad too.
So many sad songs tonite.
(Isreal sings X Factor
and my heart breaks
as the words
hit like a rock through a window of opportunity
(while that one dude won't
leave me alone, flattered but no thank you)
It is time to go outside
to move one ciggy closer to death.
(Michelle rolled me one
earlier, but it wouldn't stay lit.)
I guess its going to be that kind of night.
The girl with cool square
glasses
listens to my story.
I begin my sailor tale.
Drunk.
She says some people choose songs
that mean nothing-
I have meant every verse-
Sam eavesdrops
its okay
its okay
He's a therapist...
The next thing I know
I am weeping,
crying
No
No
Its okay, Sam
he's a therapist.
Sam talks in term of Erikson, Freud, Jung, Skinner, Piaget, Pavlov and Maslow
I gotta
cut the Buddhist shit out
he don't know what I mean about
Dharma and the Path of Freedom
and beer.
I say I don't want to do this again in the next incarnation....
He says let her heal,
on her time-
and I begin to cry.
I tell em' I hate him for being right.
He says do not forget
yourself
Do not forget
your great self .
He doesn't understand
I will remove my mask for
her.
Where there is no self...
I will
Swallow my pride.
Concede.
He hugs me
more times than I have fingers on a hand.
But all is Brahman
I listen.
I listen.
I'm weeping-
there are strangers here.
The ciggy my hand was a choice
towards death,
but instead I have been guided
toward life,
self forgiveness, and release.
I put my mask back on,
man up,
and
go home.
This kind of shit happens at this dive
to me all the time.
This is suppose to happen.
I am listening my lord.
All is Brahman
All is Brahman.
I will give her what she needs
from me willingly.
I hear you my lord.
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