Tuesday, June 16, 2015

There Are Easier Ways to Get Laid

"You can't love everyone, but you can be kind."-Father Yod

Before He was a Cult leader of young beautiful people
Before He was Father Yod, the lead singer of Yahowha 13
Before He was God cheating on his wife, sleeping with underage girls-

He was just Jim Baker, millionaire.

Killed a couple of guys with Judo chops,
Robbed a few banks,
Opened a successful organic vegetarian restaurant on the Sunset strip.

(Yes the same one Annie Hall and Alvy broke up at)

It was a crazy time back then.
It was the dawning of the age of Aquarius.

Maybe it was because his 19 year old hippie bride turned him on to the new age
Maybe it was the Swami who had all those Rolls Royce in his garage.
Maybe it was smoking that sacred herb.

But that crazy bastard started his own cult.

Founded on the idea of pleasure,
he was followed by young Beautiful women.
he was followed by young Men who looked like Jesus.
So many of them all living in the Hollywood Hills.

(Yes, Even Harold without Maude, once joined)

Jim Baker millionaire, became Father Yod cult leader.

Touch him and the world disappears
Look at him and see lighting bolts shoot out his ears
Turn to him and he can blow life into a still born baby

It was a crazy time back then.
It was the dawning of the age of Aquarius.

(Yes, then it got weird)

Teaching Sex Magic.
Singing lead in the cult's band.
Playing high school shows recruiting the youth.
Taking 13 new brides at once, while forgetting all the others he walked out on.

His followers believed they were chosen to usher in the new Aquarian age
believing Armageddon  was coming
so they moved to Hawaii.

But, Hawaii was no paradise.

only on mushrooms did
he finally admit he was not god, but just a man

He was just a man.
It was over.

In the end He went hang gliding-
without having taken any lessons.

There was a strong wind that day,
that brought a man down from the heavens,
and returned him back to hard cold earth.

It was the age of Aquarius.
It was a different time back then.

There had to have been easier ways to get laid.


  1. Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your weblog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing on your feed and I am hoping you write again very soon!

  2. Do you...
    1) love God?
    2) love thy neighbor?
    Cya soon Upstairs.


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