No No Its Cool, Sam's A Therapist

 'Ardently do today what must be done. Who knows? Tomorrow, death comes"- Da Homie Siddhartha Gautama

I. 

II.

This kind of shit just happens 

at this dive.

Like the time 

the one arm lawyer with 

the two chicks from Estonia,

(not prostitutes,  I'm sure)

told me he probably knew Morgan

maybe from that lawyer group

or 

the StarTrek set 

from the time he got beamed up by Hollywood.

But he filled in the blanks 

like a wonk about man god and law.

Saying 

Morgan never had a chance of winning,

his Bailey Wick,

not mine.

But this time out

I came here to be alone with my thoughts

among the drunks and singers

Getting flittered with by men,

(Flattered but No)

Getting limes with my cans 

(I tip well)

Getting a pack smokes after 4 years.

(Reckless-Destructive)

I sing 

in anger

I sing

in pain

I sing

like I believe this is the last

thing I will ever say.

I sing

I sing

Amy sings sad songs

tells me she is sad too.

So many sad songs tonite.

(Isreal sings X Factor

 and my heart breaks

as the words 

hit like a rock through a window of opportunity

 (while that one dude won't 

leave me alone, flattered but no thank you)

It is time to go outside

to move one ciggy closer to death.

 (Michelle rolled me one 

earlier, but it wouldn't stay lit.)

I guess  its going to be that kind of night.

The girl with cool square 

glasses 

listens to my story.

I begin my sailor tale.

Drunk.

She says  some people choose songs

that mean nothing-

I have meant every verse-

Sam eavesdrops

its okay

its okay

He's a therapist...

The next thing I know 

I am weeping,

crying

No 

No

Its okay, Sam

he's a therapist.

Sam talks in term of Erikson, Freud, Jung, Skinner, Piaget, Pavlov and Maslow 

I gotta 

cut the Buddhist shit out

he don't know what I mean about 

Dharma and the Path of Freedom 

and beer.

I say I don't want to do this again in the next incarnation....

He says let her heal,

on her time-

and I begin to cry.

I tell em' I hate him for being right. 

He says do not forget 

yourself 

Do not forget 

your great self .

He doesn't understand

I will remove my mask for

her.

Where there is no self...

I will

Swallow my pride.

Concede.

He hugs me

more times than I have fingers on a hand.

But  all is Brahman 

I listen.

I listen.

I'm weeping-

there are strangers here.

The ciggy my hand was a choice 

towards death,

but instead I have been guided 

toward life, 

self forgiveness, and release.

I put my mask back on,

man up,

and 

go home.

This kind of shit happens at this dive 

to me all the time. 

This is suppose to happen. 

I am listening my lord.

All is Brahman 

All is Brahman.

I will give her what she needs 

from me willingly. 

I hear you my lord.

In Depend Dance Day

"But it's my pride yes it is, yes it is, oh yes it is yeah

"- JL

You said to not to come over

for awhile

a long while

We were gonna see 

the fireworks 

provided by the good 

people of East L.A

I was gonna see

the fireworks

in you.

But all the other

plans 

so many.

[But I get it,

the other one been filling up my

suggestion box as well.]

I am suppose to come back

with Mezcal and Fresh Fruit?

Can I come back?

I want to come back.

You did the math,

It took a decade to 

light the fuse

to pull my 

hand 

and watch 

it explode

in a night filled with other lights.

No hard feelins

Your time was cherry bomb

fast, loud and dangerous

fun-

If you do call my

name again 

I will bring the matches

and you

the Dynamite.

Wrong Answers Only Please

Both of em'

Jesus what are chances

today 

the play falls apart.

I know 

I know

I fucked it up.

But Back to Back 

I know 

I know

I told you soo

like clockwork

like coordination

like cahoots 

One does the math 

adding me up 

then by subtraction

and 

Other wants 

to recommend 

reading material 

documents and sites to

help assist in my self care

Harvard Law 

in the wings

still owes me a cigar

while we

 slum it in Van Nuys

she's already met my mother

But she's smart enough to 

call out sick with a case

of go fuck yourself 

but the other two

Jesus..

or whatever the micro dose

makes you see

Shiva holds thier hand in Abhaya Mudra- 

caution...child

this is just a play,

The show must go on...

The Sexy Divorcee

"I aint gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more"- Bobby D

I'm just an innocent-

just a boy in his 40's

naïve to the ways of the world,

don't know any women 

just girls.

Thinking cynicism is

a type of spice that 

goes on pies

I give it the old college try. 

I'm friends with the Sexy Divorcee,

what can I say?

Like a Belle 

and Sebastian song,

everything so right but so wrong. 

The situation makes me nervous,

but

I haven't promised you anything yet.

I bet  she's running late to something better

she hasn't been invited to yet...

I don't see my reflection in many women these days

I doubt I ever will.

But that's part of the thrill 

the wait until-

I'm friends with the Sexy Divorcee,

what can I say?

Listen, 

I had to get it out my system.

Learn about love

from the one who made

vows,  

all retired now

I wanna stick around but I don't know how....

do you know what I mean-

there's no plan,

where there's a will..

do you understand?

I want you to know me

and I'll stay 

until-

You say "I do"

and

I say you "do" too.

A Week of Love Songs

 "Do you re member me?"- J. Scott

what did you think would happen-

you got me listening to these songs of love and longing, 

so I can practice my Jill Scott.

Its Love, The Way ect ect 

How am I not suppose to think of you,

listening to love songs over and over 

(Crimson and Clover)

You are not even gonna take me-

Are you?

Week full of love songs.

You'd say that's My problem.

but you know, it's now Yours too. 

A week full of love songs...

Sing them to me-

I want to sing them to you.

Crumble

You've been leaving 

crumbs 

hoping I'll starve.

But 

I was 

already left for dead.

(By you. Before.)

Your crumbs 

will not sate the hunger-

(The hunger is just always there)

No

your crumbs are just enough 

to keep me alive,

for now.

Just enough

to collect 

over time 

and 

lay them on the ground 

when 

the day  comes, 

you lead me into that dark haunted forest.

The darkest forest-

(the one with sexy witch in a spooky dress 

who lives in the candy house)

[why can’t you see she 

Does Not

Love you.

It’s the spooky dark 

Forest 

For 

the 

Trees

And with those crumbs,

I can 

find my way 

maybe back home,

maybe to you, 

maybe one 

and the same.

Erica with Bangs

 Honey 

I'm here to think about her,

Drink-

Sing into this microphone

to strangers.

Get it out-

(one way or another)

Erica is rockin out-

you keep dancing with 

fury of youth.

Your energy rocks louder than 

any voice in this dive.

I tell you: you are my rock and roll hero.

I hug my rock and roll hero. 

She's got bangs. She would 

wouldn't she.

(Who lets babies into bars )

This song is for some other.

 but-

Stick around and clap for us, Erica with bangs.

Rock out  

I see you. 

The Return of The Nefarious X

 Look up there!

In the shadows-

The streets-

There is 

Danger!

Look up there!

There was …

in

The shadows-

On the roof,

of that building. 

I saw him there!

There -

it’s the Nefarious X!

The

Nefarious X

is back 

Motherfuckers!

Beware-

The Night is mine 

to claim-

Criminal underworld 

Beware!

Liars, Cheaters and Garbage people 

Beware!

If these words don’t knock you out

With  a KAPOW

These fists 

Will…