Deus Ex Machina

My father was a
villain.

A real bastard.

He taught me to take
a beating like a champ.

And
like a slot machine, he
gambled
on what sort man he would make
out of his son,
each time he raised his arm.

two strokes calmed him down,
for awhile, and only for awhile.

he became a bastard
from his wheelchair too.

There were times I'd damn him
to hell,
even though I do not
believe in hell.

There were times I'd pray
for him,
and times I'd see him pray,
(perhaps for me).

I was sure He
loved me,
the way a god loves his creations.

The way God loves
the serpent
the locust
the weed

My father was a villain,
until one day he wasn't.

One day it stopped.

It just stopped
like the way
it stops raining
or
the way a match goes out.

It just stopped
as if God had some free time
between wars and famine to resolve
this drama.

Whatever the reason, it does not
matter anymore.

I forgive him, I love him.

My father was a villain,
He was.

11'