hot gossip

 draft 1prenise fix  check tone later 

i sometimes consider 

that to 

write 

to create 

anything worth a damn-

i bear my soul in 

words

in order to connect 

with any other 

human 

lost alone 

looking to 

understand 

 to feel 

to see 

i do not take myself seriously 

is often true 

the mask life gives us is as absurd 

i do not take my writing seriously  

 is a lie

i do not pretend that the mask you wear

hides the same devine

because 

but i do not speak for you

my 

flaws 

wounds

empathy 

things my judges my stalker my people i rub the way can not see in their own lives. the mirror is black so that is all they see with closed eyes

to some these word  are just 

gossip

cheap thrill

product

like a sad zebra errect at a zoo

like a mother of 2 grinding stranger to feed them and a habit

like the descendant of enslaved people rubber balls around a large rectangle for money

that’s entertainment

like  last night 

as i’m 

standing in front of the ambulance 

the mosey neighbor 

comes 

over

our family pain 

gossip

for 

entertainment 

the red bright lights 

blind me as i stand 

wondering 

if 

he will live. 

but i turn and say

politely-

holding back 

the urge to scream

and damn them to Hell

and 

spit 

hurl shit 

as i bear teeth -

instead calmly say

“Now is not a good time”