A List

There are times she is vulnerable.

 For 

split seconds -

only seconds.

She says 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get married”

For now, she is married to herself-

I want to tell her I understand 

I know, 

I -

By we, 

We-

Drink amongst friends.

 

"She says don’t complement 

that- 

That is what I always hear from my friends"- 

I listen to...

because I see-

[ I've always seen more than that.]

I try to see her

completely, but not like that.

Its not like that- 

When she lets down her guard,

I catch glimpse of-

glimpses 

only glimpses-

I'm gonna forget, 

I always forget-

so

I made a list.. 

A list of all the things I see besides that-

Like the family she honors-

The cross 

Around her neck, her faith makes her strong-

she's adventurous-

In trips to Montana among the wildlife.

I appreciate her style

And fashion sense-

With the exception of that brown wool lined vest.

Her dark humor-

That leads to dark laughter. 

Her Good taste in music-

"...the plan is to show you 

I understand. You are appreciated"

Her patience when 

I need her  help to guide tender souls-

The good advice, I never take.

 

She is fun to be around-

She is difficult - Holy fuck-

She is difficult...

With her fancy drinks that require the rarest of olives.

And I see her 

When she says “she cries a lot”

[ She is vulnerable, 

but only for seconds 

only in glimpse.

She will not be rushed.

 For now she is married to herself. ]

She's got good taste -

(you already said that)

She will sip coffee 

in Luke’s Dinner.

(She is team Jess-)

I see her vulnerability-

But it's not like that. 

She is interesting

With her stories of tunnels and Disney Land-

She’s says don’t compliment that-

But I don’t have too- 

I keep my mouth shut.

She says don’t compliment  THAT.

She would probably also say don't compliment

my

Beauty-

and I keep my mouth shut.

It's not like that.

She is fun, but if I told her

It’d go straight to her head-

She says don't compliment THAT.

So I made a list before I forget. 

I always forget. 

She doesn’t think I listen 

She doesn’t care-

I save her a seat, she doesn't take it.

It's not like that.

Not like that.

She is married to herself, for now. 

She is my friend    

She can be herself around me.

I can be myself around her-

[I save her a seat, she doesn't take it.

Its not like that.]