let it snow let it snow

(b side)


Ah, here in Southern California,
there is no snow,
there is never snow.

You have to drive
to find
it.

I take comfort in knowing that
out there,
(somewhere)
is the most beautiful scene of
hills covered in white.

Homes covered in icicles.
Frosted trees bare and asleep,
the land pure and clean.

In my imagination
there is this peaceful place.

There is no such sight here.
Outside my window the nieghbor cleans his
garbage truck.


I guess,
the saying holds true,
the grass is always greener
on the other
side,
even when buried underneath the snow.



11'

the littlest lion

she is the littlest lion.

a small white fluffy dog
but
with a lion's heart.

see her kick the
dirt behind her

see her stride
with a confidence larger
than herself.

see her
yawn,
showing off her
tiny fearsome teeth.

She is the littlest lion,
and no one can see.

nor
can anyone see the brave lion
tamer in me.

11'

The Good Doctor

I think of those days
fondly.

It was the beginning of the new millennium
It was the apartment next to the Sorority house
It was Berkeley


I had moved in with a good friend.

We bonded the way men bond,

over music
over alcohol
over girls.

there was communism and machetes
there was bar tending and paintings
there was golden eye and pornography
there was bitterest taste of Israeli cigarettes

at the end of it all he
was like a brother.

i expected to know him for life.
the way you expect your
teeth to last forever.

Eventually
I left Berkeley,
He left Berkeley

He became a doctor
like:
Doolittle
Seuss
Doom

and
I became lost
down my own path to salvation.

We haven't seen each other in years.

There are times I put pride aside
and ask to see him.

There are polite exchanges,
and plans.

Plans that carry as much weight as mist.
As much weight as apparitions.
(the ghost of our younger selves)

And yes, this wounds
my pride.

Yet,
I don't think of those days any less fondly.
This is just the way it is.

Time will heal this.
Some wounds heal
without a doctor.


11'

santa cruz

I met Rick
the first week of college.

We all went on a trip to Santa Cruz,
it was his hometown.

While there
we went to visit an angel.

A home town girl
Rick had left behind
or something.

She was a charming creature,
bright eyed,
with
tanned skin
cared for and loved
by the sun
of Santa Cruz.

We all went to beach.

I had never seen the ocean at night
before.

Fantasies of growing up near the ocean were born,
fantasies of growing up with her.

This was a whole different life
i would never know.

Rick and the girl
ran onto the beach.

the two of
them,
undressed
then ran off into ocean.

They ran into the night,
fading into the dark.
(it was a goddamn teenage movie.)

Remembering it brings me a
small joy.

It wasn't exactly my memory and
I don't remember
it perfectly-

But goddammit I hope somebody does.

11'

Deus Ex Machina

My father was a
villain.

A real bastard.

He taught me to take
a beating like a champ.

And
like a slot machine, he
gambled
on what sort man he would make
out of his son,
each time he raised his arm.

two strokes calmed him down,
for awhile, and only for awhile.

he became a bastard
from his wheelchair too.

There were times I'd damn him
to hell,
even though I do not
believe in hell.

There were times I'd pray
for him,
and times I'd see him pray,
(perhaps for me).

I was sure He
loved me,
the way a god loves his creations.

The way God loves
the serpent
the locust
the weed

My father was a villain,
until one day he wasn't.

One day it stopped.

It just stopped
like the way
it stops raining
or
the way a match goes out.

It just stopped
as if God had some free time
between wars and famine to resolve
this drama.

Whatever the reason, it does not
matter anymore.

I forgive him, I love him.

My father was a villain,
He was.

11'

In the future there will be televison

when I think of my future,
there is not much fear.

when I was young I
was afraid of what
would become of me.

not knowing if I would
sleep alone in my bed
or if there would be children
but not much of a paycheck.

would I fail,
squander potential,
go
mad in an empty room?

would I become my father?

when I was young I was afraid.

but now I am in the future of
my younger self.

alone.
no wife, no children.
no status.

I am unable to afford
a dentist
a doctor
let alone
flowers, chocolates or
rings.

I watch television shows
about the universe and physics,
meth cooks and
policewomen.

my dog curls by my side
every night, as
I go to sleep at 4am.

there are far worse,
fates.

I no longer
fear the future.

besides,
I am confident
the bombs will never go off
the world will not end
and
there will be television in the future.

11'

advice to a younger man

She is
deep inside
you now.

like a
dagger,
straight to the heart,
(from the back).

the worse is done.
It can only get better from here.

Best to forget that
you once swore to
die for her.
 
Better that
love make a liar of you,
than a damn fool.

11'

Should all else fail

(B Side)

Should all else fail
should
your love be
incomplete.

Should you lose her,
and see it all happening
in slow motion.

Then,
before she finds another,
Take her one last time and
whisper in her ear-

Nobody can do the Skate-
Like I do

Nobody can do the Boogaloo-
Like I do

Nobody can do the Philly-
Like I do

nobody, nobody....


11'