Spared

on the streets of San Francisco
I
followed you
like a beggar
asking for spare change.


I tell you
I've spent my whole
life looking for people
to connect to.

And I come to
you
to connect to you.

to huddle in your
light-
to succeed in my
own humanity

I've tried
so very hard to
be more
than this failure.

to finally be done with
the shrinks and
cranks

healers and con men,
the
witch doctors and
their prescriptions.

to finally connect with
someone...
not just someone but
you
and huddle in
your light.

to succeed-

To connect-

on the streets of San Francisco
I
follow you
like a beggar
asking for spare change.

begging you to
care.

But
you walk ahead in
silence to spare yourself
the trouble.

you offer
me a place to read about
god and peace and
light-

Saving your light
for some other even
colder night.

on the streets of San Francisco
I
follow you
like a beggar
asking for spare change.

begging

for something to change,
for anything to change-
for you to change-

for me to change,
to be more than this failure.

11'

Safe Word

Baby,
When it gets too
rough

When you wanna
hurt me

as
much as
I wanna hurt you.

When it gets
far too
rough

I suggest a
Safe Word

maybe
tenderly-

maybe
love you-

maybe
sorry-

or any other words
we never say to
each other.


11'

The Distance

I fill the air
with nonsense
in between
opportunities
to tell you that
i love you.


but you tell
me
you have no time
for my nonsense

so all i have left
is to fill the air
telling you
i love you

But
I spare you
the opportunity
to tell me that you have no time for that
either.

and with that
there was nothing left to say.
so i remain silent.

And
as we sit here
driving-

i sit
quietly
and accept
my situation.

Miles and miles to
go-

The
distance between
you and i

miles and miles to
go-



10'

DIY or Die

<Note to self  it needs more dirt and coffee rind in the begiinng. find somehitng more god/mom lmaybe priest stranger officer  maybe surprise or off topic> 

I always wanted to

write like my 

Heroes-

I thought what they wrote, 

was true-

Pure.

Free from 

[their mothers] shame

[thier god’s shame

Thier lovrer / note lover sounds weak but you don’t want to imply fuck buddy or frivolity  maybe dark or political like the conservative shame come back to this later ]

But I could never

Die at the end of a 

Bottle-

Or find enough 

women to whisper 

my name in

the dark.

No war I chose 

to die for.

No political party or

Cause I choose 

to lie for. 

I was 

always worried 

what my 

Mother might say.

What Jesus 

May say-

What you will say…

But if I give in to the fear

I will say nothing. 

I will write and still say nothing 

I will live and create nothing-

Fuck it-

If they want to criticize 

or damn me for my words-

 

If They have

something 

to say-

 

Let them write it down  

Share it like an idiot, 

and call it 

Art. 

You Are

you are
the smallest thing

tiny,
fragile-

i am a
giant to you..

towering over,
making baby sounds,
holding toys,
watching my step,

as you
threaten me with your imaginary teeth-

yet my heart
opens for you.


you sleep by foot,
and i do not move

i am sentimental

and
leader of our pack

you growl,  the faintest growl-
comical-
as
small paws
claw at
my heart,
leaving in doubt who, is really
who's master.

09'

Landmine

Working on a movie set.

Stepping on an important prop,
Shattering it.

Unaware it was there.

Like stepping on
a land mine.


The director does not yell.

But
I know.

You'll never work
in this town again.

Time to disappear
and die.

Shooting at a cemetery.
(It would have been
convenient.)


09'

not interested

not interested
in what you have to say
or
items on sale

not interested
in saving anything with a petition
or
being saved

not interested
in their war
or
their achievement in the field of science

not interested
in you
or
in your lack of interest in me.

abstract 1

(b side)

You are where the line begins
and ends.

Unaware.
Looking up at the sky.
mocking the moon

You are slight of hand moving
slowly

Caught.
Drinking ice and inhaling rain.
Speaking in tongues

You are laughter pushing the
sails forward.

Echoing
Falling from branches.
feeling the sting
of the cold.

09'