Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Buy. The Time

 I felt angry at the world- 


I felt angry at something 

Without a name.


Buy the time:

Like Escorts, 

Like pay phone long distance calls,

Like Time Shares.


Capitalism moves in mysterious ways, 

Capitalism is barely getting by on Social Security, 

Capitalism is as capitalism does.

 

Buy the time: 

Like a peep show 

Like a parking spot downtown,

Like a vibrating bed in a hotel.


I was angry at the world.

There was nothing I wanted to buy-

Nothing to own or rent.

"Can't buy me love"-

(There is a song)


Love.

The only real thing.

I just wanted my mother not to hate me.

She raised me, to hate me.


My father would just buy me things after the beatings.


The note I wrote said.

 

The note I left read,

"By the time you read this…"


I stayed for my best friend. 

Who every night I clean,

wipe their ass,

and throw out their piss.


I tell my father stories of the book 
I'm writing.

I tell him absurd jokes,

I do funny voices. 

I play the bass for him badly.


I stayed.


 I realized this is only borrowed time.

We steal what we can 

to survive.

we are beggars, when it comes to love.


The golden rule won't pay rent,

but lets hope

it'll

cover at least some dues. 






Honest Lady

So I was in line, at the Starbucks,

Or something.


When I came across an honest lady

waiting in line.

 

She either started small talk  or I did 

I wasn’t paying attention- 

Blah blah blah


Whoa Nelly!

I hate to disappoint you lady but…

.look 

At me.


Why would I …But hold the horses.


Why the long 

Face?


What -

What,

she said-

That was the kicker.

Blah blah blah


She said “I’m good at faking interest in people…blah 

I don’t like being around others… bla 

It’s part of my job… bla 


She shares how it is ironic, 

that she’s around  

them all the time…

Blah


Her face is long.

Bony.

Brown hair,

Sandals on her feet

like 

She stepped off a Greek urn-

(An urn that’s seen some shit..)

Blah blah blah 


She started to talk about her brother, 

about how his being the opposite. 


I mention Attachment Theory


I suggest …

I imply

Encourage

She look into it… 


A lot of people like her

don’t stand a chance until…

Blah blah 


It makes her angry.

Its Like I called her dumb- 

I Giddy Up.

I get out of this conversation and ride off into

the sunset. 


I see her sometimes talking to randoms.

I think it’s part of her job.


I thought she worked with marine animals,

Or just animals in general.

To her 

maybe... 

What’s the difference?


I dunno I wasn't really listening. 

 

Don’t meet many honest people, 


Most just are horrible people 

telling it like it is! 

No filter-

Crass -

Common-

Tactless 

and blunt 

as a shoes heel.


Bla Bla Bla

who gives a fuck about attachment theory... 


Well

She  might see 

she lying to herself, 

the way 

I lie to myself -


We need others. If we have any chance of making it on this rock, 

we need others. 

Bla Bla Bla...


Maybe- 

I wasn’t paying attention