Azos

The last time, the last time-

I wrote. it 

didn’t come out, come off..

Right-

Left, what is left? Give up? no-

No.

Pink dress.

Covered in stars!

(Not as frilly as you’ll remember. )

Fur around her boots.

But her 

Hair,

Two puffs

Two puffs 

Latina face,

But she she intergalactic! 

Not from here, not one of us-

No…

Do not write about…

Birthday girl.

Happy-

Not no don’t,

But it makes-

Happy.

You brought me joy,

A creep-

But your energy,

You’re 

full Of life-

Dancing…

Well,

On behalf of

the creeps,

It is a gift for a 

man to see a beautiful woman

alive!

Give beauty.

You wave goodbye-

 

 I wave back.

You 

Will 

Never 

Know there is a poem 

About You-

Everything I needed to say 

I said to you 

Myself.

There is more beauty 

in the world tonite,

on our world,

and I hope on her's. 

Basin

 There are rules to this bitch

Reincarnation

What in darnation?

Frustration

Pink carnation-

And there lies the truth-

Reminder 

Remainder 

Gravitational field.

The basin

Holding holy water.

To wash

Wash 

Away-

A way 

Your sins.

Leaving clean,

Until it’s time

To roll around in the dirt again.

The basin waits. 

Here I Go… Too Late

 So I went outside.. 

I was not- 

At least I don’t ,

Think-

I fucked up. 

I read a muse a poem…

About themselves.

I broke the rules 

The laws Of  Beauty

The Vows Of truth. 

I read a muse her poem.

I became creep,

Creepy creeping creeper -

Her friend putting up a fight, to stay in her 

Black dress, seemed to suggest a pep... 

Talk might-

Might, 

But-

 

I didn’t think, 

Thunk,

Should thinked-

I’m creep, I read her a poem to make her feel, 

Feel,

Feel, 

Feel better.

(I made it worse.)

Worse. 

Was the poem really that bad?

Was it the part about Patty Hearst?

It was the easiest way to remember your look.

I forget,  I always forget,

I was, I was, I was gonna say you look like you came off a 

sonic youth t-shirt, I saw back in  96'.

I forget, I always forget....

But I will remember the lesson. 

Not you, the lesson.

I'm sorry if made you uncomfortable, 

I look for all kinds of muses.

Some poets write about horses and racetracks,

Some poets write about lovers and broken hearts.

Some poets pander about failed revolutions 

I write about sad drunk people in a dive karaoke bar.

Cool Girl Revisited

 You are so fucken cool -

Bangs ,

I’m a sucker for bangs.

And the Beanie-

Perfect hair.

Patty Hearst…

You are 

A dream I had 

When I was 15.

The coolest fucken girl-

Here I go…

She sang the cool 

Song-

“Alll I ever wanted,

all I ever needed…”

Be cool!

Cool…

It’s -

“It is all I ever wanted…’

Buy. The Time

 I felt angry at the world- 

I felt angry at something 

Without a name.

Buy the time:

Like Escorts, 

Like pay phone long distance calls,

Like Time Shares.

Capitalism moves in mysterious ways, 

Capitalism is barely getting by on Social Security, 

Capitalism is as capitalism does.

 

Buy the time: 

Like a peep show 

Like a parking spot downtown,

Like a vibrating bed in a hotel.

I was angry at the world.

There was nothing I wanted to buy-

Nothing to own or rent.

"Can't buy me love"-

(There is a song)

Love.

The only real thing.

I just wanted my mother not to hate me.

She raised me, to hate me.

My father would just buy me things after the beatings.

The note I wrote said.

 

The note I left read,

"By the time you read this…"

I stayed for my best friend. 

Who every night I clean,

wipe their ass,

and throw out their piss.

I tell my father stories of the book 
I'm writing.

I tell him absurd jokes,

I do funny voices. 

I play the bass for him badly.

I stayed.

 I realized this is only borrowed time.

We steal what we can 

to survive.

we are beggars, when it comes to love.

The golden rule won't pay rent,

but lets hope

it'll

cover at least some dues. 

Honest Lady

So I was in line, at the Starbucks,

Or something.

When I came across an honest lady

waiting in line.

 

She either started small talk  or I did 

I wasn’t paying attention- 

Blah blah blah

Whoa Nelly!

I hate to disappoint you lady but…

.look 

At me.

Why would I …But hold the horses.

Why the long 

Face?

What -

What,

she said-

That was the kicker.

Blah blah blah

She said “I’m good at faking interest in people…blah 

I don’t like being around others… bla 

It’s part of my job… bla 

She shares how it is ironic, 

that she’s around  

them all the time…

Blah

Her face is long.

Bony.

Brown hair,

Sandals on her feet

like 

She stepped off a Greek urn-

(An urn that’s seen some shit..)

Blah blah blah 

She started to talk about her brother, 

about how his being the opposite. 

I mention Attachment Theory

I suggest …

I imply

Encourage

She look into it… 

A lot of people like her

don’t stand a chance until…

Blah blah 

It makes her angry.

Its Like I called her dumb- 

I Giddy Up.

I get out of this conversation and ride off into

the sunset. 

I see her sometimes talking to randoms.

I think it’s part of her job.

I thought she worked with marine animals,

Or just animals in general.

To her 

maybe... 

What’s the difference?

I dunno I wasn't really listening. 

 

Don’t meet many honest people, 

Most just are horrible people 

telling it like it is! 

No filter-

Crass -

Common-

Tactless 

and blunt 

as a shoes heel.

Bla Bla Bla

who gives a fuck about attachment theory... 

Well

She  might see 

she lying to herself, 

the way 

I lie to myself -

We need others. If we have any chance of making it on this rock, 

we need others. 

Bla Bla Bla...

Maybe- 

I wasn’t paying attention

I Was listening To Slick Rick

She loves me,

she loves me not…

I don't give a fuck!

Shoot your shot.

Never met you 

Or maybe I did 

Who can tell-  Oh well...

Fuck it,  shoot your 

Shot. Sisters! 

I'm open to the idea of 

speaking in tongues- 

Doing tongue twisters and

making butter batter bitter

better butter makes the batter better.

I dunno I was just listening to

Slick Rick or MC Ricky D-

Or as you may have heard of him as...

Rick Da Ruler!

And with a Tick Tock and you 

don't Stop...

"I cant be your lover!"

Untitled n’ stuff

She is 

Mercurial.

Her whim moves with an alacrity.

It is 

Nebulous 

Like the air

In cotton candy-

It’s barely a whisper

Of an

Anything-

An Apparition, out 

Of thin air.

Thin

Thick

Heir 

To

The first chill of the winter.

Nebulous-

If you know what I mean?

Do you know what I 

mean?

After After Party

 It’s  late getting later

but 

there is enough 

Life at this party 

to

keep

us young.

So many new faces

But more 

Importantly 

The old ones. 

I see her.

There is gonna be an after party-

But lord almighty

I'm lookin forward to the After After Party..

Enough

There is enough art in me to 

fill

a thousand suns.

I never fear 

losing it

for 

It 

is 

I.

My art will live on.

I have no-

Doubt,

Regret,

Children-

My art will live on-

I never had any children of my own.

There were so many women 

who thought that was a bad a idea.

And the one

Crazy enough-

Enough, 

just not enough. 

Teasing-

“Hot enough for you?”

Enough is enough.

There is a mountain high enough,

There is a valley low enough.

I have enough wisdom to 

light up

the moon-

It’s enough for 

Me,

even if I was 

never 

enough for you.

Fair enough?

Alone, leave, enough, well.

Leave well enough alone…

Enough?

Well?

Viking Goth

I guess the best way to describe him

Is like uh, Viking Goth?

I dunno. 

The dude is super tall dressed in black and 

Eyeliner I think…

I dunno it’s like going to a zoo-

And seeing something new

Beard  creepy eye contacts ect 

With eye liner-

He’s trying too hard

I try too, but holy

Fuck!

I’ve never seen one in the wild.

Then again-

at this dive, there is a dude…

Who dresses up in a rainbow body suit 

(Mask the whole bit)

to 

Sing karaoke-

So, I  guess 

Silver medal Viking goth…

You can’t win them all. 

An old song in America

(Part III to A new song in America Series)

an old song

has been sung in America

many reluctant voices
all in
harmony.

the voice
we hear
is our
fear.

an old song after
another.

We sing together,
a choir
of survivors.

We sing,
We must
We must
Yes –
but do we have too?

Oh I Didn't Notice

You are such a part of me,

sometimes- 

I don't realize the extent until I look at the art I've made.

It's there-

and when 

I think 

you 

might 

notice -

 

I get self conscious- 

I get little nervous

and

sentimental. 

But I cant hide it -

Why would I?

If I'm honest these words only exists, in part 

because of you. 

Thank you for the gift 

of you-

the love,

the art, 

the poetry

As a boy, my world 

was much smaller before you.

I don't know what I'm sayin...

except:

I was so lucky to have met 

you-

In Youth

In the Valley

In the Bay

In art

In memory

In friendship

You are safe harbor-

from storms

and 

nightmares.

You are trust.

You are comfort

You are forgiveness

And-

You are happy with 

the woman you love.

I am 

happy for you.

Your loved one was kind to me-

welcoming.

I like her,

she reminds me of someone-

from the cigarettes, 

n' brown skin

right down to the Dickies jacket.

Don't worry- 

I didn't notice the resemblance.

Don't worry

I don't think you have a type.

You sometimes appear in my art, 

my friend,

mostly in memories now-

and everywhere,

where there is faintest smell of sandalwood.

Do not fear 

my intentions with these words-

with these 

words that you can read,

and feel,

they will always be too much.

as I was,

as I am

too much.

We are family,

loved-

safe

still there.

I am happy for you.

I can't hide it -

Why would I?

Next Tues

 

I.

She was, is, was-

A bit of a,

Uh, umm-

(I have it written down somewhere) 

See you next Tuesday 

or Thursday- 

Later.

As,

We, do -

the wave..

Goodbye.

Wave, wave. 

Now surf-

It’s the latest-

The Surfer Stomp-

Dance-

It’s the latest 

Craze

She was a bit, 

Craze, craze

All the Rage.

Latest-

Later-

All the Rage.

A fad.

Super sonic,

The S is for super-

Look up in the sky, it’s a bird it’s a plane…

She was a bit -

A tad -

A pinch -

Sugar and spice.

All the rage.

All of it.

But,

She was a bit.

She was a bit much.

A bit 

Ch ch ch ch

Turn and face the strange.

Ch ch...

Why xwhyz?

Bit But Because:

"If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter."

she said.

II.

One bit 

Two bit 

Three bit 

Four

Four bit 

Three bit

Two bit 

More.

Poem Scraps II

[Before the whole cookie crumbles]

I am just a man. Praying to the G.O.D

to let my mommy live. 

and the days feel like they are getting shorter,

and shorter

the light is dimming,

and the shadows

grow longer,

 spreading 

until it becomes the night

Turning down noble prizes like Jean Paul Sartre 

The Christmas card

my mother gave me-

was 

blank with the exception of my name

Hey Viking Goth.. 

Jason mamowa called wait…

(is that how you spell it?)

Had I been even slightly better lookin 

I would have ended up 

listenin to Hip Hop and learning Tagalog 

I can not fly, without you,

but 

refuse to fall

by myself

[Thought I'd  expand my horizons-

I'd never dated a Persian girl before.]

You held on

and now sing this song 

about how everything went wrong.

sing about the grief 

but oh the relief 

such relief

Daft or A Penny for Your Thoughts is a Rip Off

If you'd like to know
my confidence
is not confidence,
its madness.

]Doing the impossible

When no one 

Is 

Looking 

She thinks I’m so full 

Of 

Myself

Thinking only 

Of myself- 

But she 

Does not 

Look out for me-

Does not 

Fill the day with hope

Does not think

Of me when there are Baking shows on. 

I am mad

I am man

I am Daft

like the Duck, in a boxing match cartoon, Porky Pig in his corner.

Saying

"I'm so crazy I don't know this is impossible"

That's all folks.

I am full of myself.

Its not my fault you wanna 

have

the world and yourself 

to be soo empty.

Devout

They say she once pissed in a Martini Glass

then left it on the table.

They say she thinks humans and Dinosaurs 

had an all out battle 

for supremacy-

They say the other girls would bully

her all through puberty.

Alls I knows is a pretty girl wanted go out.

She asked if I wanted to come in

and meet her

family.

It's not that kind of date-

Last time I saw her was years ago

she was driving off with that guy.

That guy, 

in a hurry to 

get to 

get at

get it

Now I am that guy.

She said I came to her in a dream 

(It happens more often than you think...)

She talked about the bible and witchcraft-

(She is Devout, and I am Sin)

She looked pretty.

(She had gotten her hair done)-

I wonder if she wants to hold hands,

but it's not that kind of date-

By the fountain 

 I could hear the frogs.

It was time to move closer.

I can see something in her,

I can see her Shadow-

She tells me

her 

secret and shows me her Shadow.

Even if she hadn't

told me,

I just knew.

 I console.

I am shadow too.

I need the light,

as much as you.

There can be no shadow without some 

light.

I can tell she will be devoted to me-

Love me for now, 

unless I repeat

what the others have done

 before me.

Until this guy, 

becomes that guy.

But,

her body is no prize,

just her love,

she gives freely

to me.

She is no trophy

but 

a human wounded

in ways 

I will never be able to understand by the cruelty 

of another.

They say she is devout-

 Her faith

gives her light, even if the 

rest of us can't see:

What maze

What Cave 

What Hell 

She is in. 

And only she can find her way out.

I can only shine some light.

I listen and see her, though fully dressed-

naked in her wound.

I hold space, because,

it's not that kind of date.

 

 

Wha or Nothin Rhymes with Else

You fought it with all you had.

You can tell everyone 

in a full page Sunday ad-

Your hands left raw, blistered and bleeding

from holding on

to what was already gone-

and won't be needing.

You held on,

empty handed-

Confess now...

Was it my pride

were we landed

 or 

our vow to 

die or ride

Regardless

It's what the script demanded 

Sittin with an empty cup.

You can say didn't quit

when nobody brings it up.

Shout about it or put it on the shelf-

You can say you toughed it out,

when the conversation is about something else.

It was dumb 

a waste of time 

even you can admit

this shit was not worth mentioning in rhyme 

Haunt them from below 

and above ground.

Flaunt all you want,

when there's no one around.

Cry all you like,

just don't make a sound.