Yes Sir, No Sir

I have a problem with authority.

I see my fathers face in:

Principals,

Police,

Popes, Priests and Nuns,

n'

Parking attendants-

My father would 

beat me 

mercilessly.

No Sir,

Yes Sir-

Telling

What to do-

How to do it

and

How I was fucking it up-

I have a problem with authority. 

Yes sir.

I have a problem with:

Control 

Power

Abuse

Yes Sir, No sir.

And now it is my turn

to tell others 

what to do,

how to it

and 

how they are  fuckin it up.

I do not see my fathers face in them-

No sir.

I see my 

face as a child.

 And with 

Kindness

Compassion

and

Patience

remind them 

its okay to make mistakes

its how we learn

its how we grow

I have become the father 

I never had, to children who not mine-

so that they do not grow to

resent in anger.

No sir ree bob.

Poem Scraps

I.
While writing other things:
 
De Incendiis Corporis Humani Spontaneis
Human Combustion

I hate the both of you,
one times 2,
one times 3.

She is ugly in a beautiful kind of way
She is beautiful in ugly kind of way

In the morning she will have a story
to tell of how she narrowly avoided getting wet.

II.
I have felt your
hands slipping before-

maybe I've no right
to try  to hold
your hand tighter.

From the moment you came into my life,
I've tried to prepare for you leaving.

I learned we are the same with
goodbyes.

Sneaking out,
in silence.

(We have that in common)

But if you don't hear from me again,
its because i've run out of ways to
say I'm sorry.

III.
Letting  you in,
has been a most dangerous thing.

I've know
Carelessness
Indifference
Rejection
before.

but compared
to the damage I do to myself
you and all the rest,
have been amateurs.

Fucking amateurs.

"If you want something done right,
you gotta do it your self."

IV.
I was told-
that my soul

was under the impression,
that suffering was the surest way to you.

There are times
I question everything you do.

Including your very existence.

In matters of my heart,
I thought you most cruel.

Waiting to the last possible moment to answer.

I don't want to suffer anymore.

So you've granted me
Mercy-

You let me see you in eyes of woman.
You let me feel you in her heart.
You let me feel you in my own heart.

Then you took it away.

Mercy-

V.
So hands join together not hold, but to clap
So she says "its time to go, I drawn you a map.
So the spring that released set in motion a trap
So empty the box, left behind like the gift to unwrap

VI.
 as if
We will never die,

though the flame will
weaken into embers.

What was once a raging fire-
(consuming all in its path)
must become ashes.

There is a cycle of destruction  and birth.

what came before
what comes after,
what was destroyed this cycle
gave birth.

It gives birth to us.

VII.
For the moment, I feel they have lifted the curse,
the one given to me at birth, to carry by hearse, on my way back to the earth.



12/13- 7/15

Sometime We Ask

Sometimes we ask for a miracle and the answer is no.

You tried your best 

to save me from my sins.

My mother stood by me.

There is a karma to theses things.

I think I saw a butterfly flutter by.

I took it as a sign.

But it was just a butterfly.

Sometimes we ask for a miracle 

and the answer is no.

The Call

we were sitting on the grass,
you were looking so pretty in the light of day.

you took off your shoes
we watch the squirrels do their dance.

They chase one another.

One in the tree waiting so gracefully for the other
and
the second stalls, keeping the first in suspense.

Then chase  turns to dance-
something calls the other, and they just can't run away.

I turn back to you,
and your lookin so pretty in the sun.

You put your hand on my knee like its gonna be alright-
as if the world ain't so bad.

You say its a good thing the phone hasn't rung,
so I run to a tree before its too late to knock on wood.

You pick up the phone as it starts to ring
superstitiously-
(oh so ironically)
but it was gonna happen sooner later.

Nothing can last
not her beauty
not the dance
not hope

It can not last-

The future is unpredictable-
The present is perfect.

Her hand on my knee can not last.

The Dance must end
The Chase must end
and
one will either escape or the other  must be
be caught.

And then, well I can not know until it happens...

There is this moment-

There is nothing else.

I look at you one last time,
stand up, brush off grass 

and you put on your shoes.

My life's about to change,
in ways I still do not understand yet.

We were waiting for a call,

but really we waiting on a miracle.

You were so pretty, everything else fades away.

My world is about to burn.

I will use you.

I will use her.

I will start a new fire to ignore the other.

I have a difficult conversation ahead of me,
as different girl must be let go,
a different girl who does not want my love
who also does not need my love.

I must answer the call.

Frozen in Carbonite

And I swear

if you saw it

you could see there was something there.

When

 they turned me around 

and took me away,

My heart 

speaks the words

"I know"

I didn't get to see the look upon your face.

but the other day

my mother 

said the way 

you looked at me,

a woman knows.

Your bags were packed.

You fly off. 

She says she's never seen star wars.

You Made Your Mother Cry

{Draft 1

You've made your mother cry.

You broke your mothers heart..

She says

we are poor,

we don't much except 

the honor of name.

you name is only thing you have.
keep it clean

keep your name clean.

Be the lotus in the swamp

Whose leaves stay white among

the swamp.

stay pure.

You've marred your name.

You're cover in mud

You failed her one 

request of you.

In the swamp is where I was born into

and  

the rain 

like her tears

will never

make me clean.

[I am the lotus 

stained 

I am the lotus

impure

I am the lotus

I am the swamp]