Fire Escape

I told my friends
i loved them once.

it came from a
vulnerable place,
like a room
in a big house that i never
go into.

it came from a place
that usually has
the door locked...

it just happened to
be unlocked, once.

i walked in and realized all
wonderful people i know,

i realized how lucky i was...
and am,
kinda.

I wanted to tell them...
I needed to tell them.

It felt
as if there
was an urgency....
like some crazy
emergency that needed immediate attention.

like some fire too fucken hot,
like a fire moving swiftly,
like some fire consuming everything
and it was ok.

this was good thing,
it was love.
it was love.

it was pure.

it was urgent.
it was real.

From a place still real.

Now i watch them slowly go their ways,
like ash to the wind.

They are leaving,
whether they are aware or not...
its ok.

its happened before.

They go their separate ways
 until the fire is out and the ashes gone.

That place, still is inside me.

i try the knob on the door,
to see if it will turn...

But mostly i stay in the rooms that
never had doors...

with windows looking out...
rooms on the higher floors....
rooms with fire escapes...
just in case i get any more
funny ideas.....

There is no urgency, no fire....
But a person like me can never be too careful...

so i sit on the fire escape
waiting for a fire,
or any other
reason to
escape.



07'