A Good Man

Don't like to brag-

But
I know 
I'm a Good Man.
A decent man

Ask anybody.

I am
a loving person
a giving person
"humble" when called for

I've repented for most my
sins,
and one miracle short of Sainthood.
I do not associate myself with Delinquents,
Loose Women,
and Scoundrels-
(anymore)

I am a good man,
looking for a good woman.

(Now, if only-
both of those statements were true.)




11'

A Summary of Roles and Encounters with Women in My Life In Six Acts

Act I

They are my sisters.
They are my nurses.
They are saints.
They are therapist and editors.
They are saviors an benefactors.
They are a charity.
They love me-

They watch Shows about
fashion,
cupcake makers,
and hair salons.
I watch with them-


They eat healthy
and gourmet.
I steal their food-

They are a secret society,
and they have let me in.
I am their sister too-


Act II

God may or may not be a woman,
but my mother is.
She is like God.

She created me
in her own image.

Convinces no one will ever love me as much.

She is constantly
angry with her creation.

God is infinite love, and
the destroyer of cities.

God is always watching
and

I am a sinner.

I worship god.
Sacrifice for god-

I believe in god, but
she doesn't believe in me.



Act III

Women and Men

Built different
Talk different
Think different
Need different
Love different

Bullshit.

Even if I'm wrong,
Bullshit.




Act IV

The feminist
have my name on a list.

Every so often they
will send one of their agents
to bat their eyes
wink
and walk a walk.

There is just something about them,
different
than the other girls.

At fifteen the first one came.

I called myself one of them,
but what did I really understand.
 I just wanted to be loved.

At twenty-five came the second.

I believed that she
wanted to
not only be free of me,
but of any man.

And I was right.

At twenty eight came the third.

Telling me she wanted to make babies,
and I guess I made the mistake of believing her.

I made her cry, but i was just an
angry boy.

I was still disappointed by the first...
Still angry at the first.

I looked for her in every woman.
Sometimes to reclaim her
Sometimes to avoid her
But it was always the first-

The feminist
have my name on a list,

They sometimes send their agents, and after all this time
I can only guess why?

My best guess is
they believe I can still learn,
and there is hope for me yet.



Act V

My therapist
once asked what it
meant to have a woman therapist

Well, its
like having a woman doctor
or watching a woman boxer

like voting for a woman as president
or having your hair cut by a woman

it is like
hearing a woman sing,
or a woman judge finding a defendant guilty

like reading a woman author
or having a woman waitress-

its about how much
they love their job.

its how well they can take a punch,
and get up, when life knock them down.

this especially true
for the boxer.



11'

Exhale

(Inhale)

Focus-
their is nothing else but this moment.

Your ego will
fill up your mind
with meaningless things.

there are sounds all around
but no one
is calling your
name-

She and all the rest,
are not here.

Parking tickets,
poverty,
War,
library fines,
and Death,
are not here

there is nothing you want
and
Nothing is here, but this moment-

(Exhale)


11'

And Then the Other

"Oh you silly stupid pastime of mine
You were always good for a rhyme"-F.A



this is the way
babies are made.

beautiful skin,
long black boots,
big breast,
bright red lips
and
child bearing hips

You said there was
song that reminded you
of me.

Singing:

"...you looked as sincere as a dog"

I am no dog.

We have flirted
before.

But its been awhile.
Seeing her, well, its too much
tonight.

Singing:

"Just as sincere as a dog does,
When it's the food on your lips with which it's in love"

I am no dog.

I am the wolf,
starved

hungry for days
tired.

I am the wolf
no one pets me
no one feeds me
I'm nobody's bitch.

so I leave her and
her body
back where I found them,
surrounded by
the dogs foaming at the
mouth.

who will
fetch
roll over
beg.

This is the way babies are made,
just not mine, just not tonight.



11'

The Good Girl

Good parking spaces downtown are hard to find.
Good help is hard to find.
Good women, are
almost damn near impossible to find.

Men weep,
steal,
fight wars,
kill each other in dark alleys-
for lack of a good woman.

But I found one-

One with
kindness in her eyes.

Now I must be humble,
just to know
a good Girl,
a  good Woman
an Angel-

She
glows like an Angel-

I never say that
about anyone.

Well,
that's not completely true.

I have kissed a devil before,
and
I sometimes forget that
the Devil was once an angel too.



11'

The Plan

I.

The plan is simple.
Go talk to her.
Get to know her.
wait for the first clean shot
and
take it.

rinse and repeat-

II.

All the timing is off, and all i can do is watch her go...


nothing ever goes according to plan.
some men spend fifty years married to a woman they hardly know.
some men spend fifty years in prison for an idea that seem good at the time.
some men never see it coming
some men build bomb shelters
some men never learn


some men never need to have a plan B
some men have only ever make escape plans.

some men never make plans,
I am not one of those men.


III.

I was loyal to the master plan and found her.

I takes her
seven days to say yes to my
invitation.

But she has yes none the less,
and the
dance has begun.

We make plans
to see each other.

and
I don't know
if all the
stars will line up,
 or if the sun will eclipse
the moon.
 or
if the water will freeze in winter cold.

But I do know I'll meet her half way.

She is a good girl,
and I hope to show her
I'm a good guy.

Well, at least I  plan to.



11'

Untitled

It was Guatemala in
the 1940's
and
in those days America sent some
doctors into their country.

They sent men in white coats
to give the Guatemalan people
syphilis.

They gave it to prostitutes
They gave it soldiers
They gave it to the poor,
They gave it to children.

They brought in an
orphan
girl
scared and
alone in the world
parted her legs
and gave her a disease
against her will.

Men in white coats who took an oath to
do no harm.

But it was the 1940's
and things were different back then,
America
hadn't discovered
the human value
of the Guatemalan people yet.

  America hadn't discovered
the human value of
the poor
the prostitute
the lowest ranking soldiers
and
its orphan children,
yet.

It is now 2011,
and I'm sorry
to report
America
is still working on it.


11'

Friends with The Butcher

Her friends call her the Butcher-

Her eyes are sharp as knives.
and
Her hair
curls
forever
and ever-

 making her seem to
constantly be
moving while standing still-

and
Her name is to be said a certain way,
and like a witches spell.

the way you say it can either
bless 
or hex you.-

She stood up to me once, telling me,
I was contradicting myself,
(which I was)
Challenging me in a room full of people who had nothing to say.

She
had something to say.-
 I like that.


Her friends call her the Butcher
joking  that she's
always after fresh meat.

I don't know about that.


 It has nothing to do with me-

 Besides I am safe,
being
years past my expiration date.

I like being friends with the Butcher-
 much better than
i ever did with the
Baker and
Candle Stick Maker.

11'

Call her Cindy

Her name tag said
Cynthia,
but on the side of her grey, worn converse shoes,
she wrote
Cindy along with 
two other names.

One of the other names was a
girls name perhaps of
her best friend,
sister
cousin
or lover.

The other name was blurred
illegible
and faint..

Not important enough to
to re ink into bold new letters.

I will never see this person again,
I can not tell you if she believes in Hell,
What she thinks of Norman Mailer,
or state of the human condition.

What i can tell you is she likes to be called
Cindy.

11'

Boom Town

There is gold hidden in your
hills.

I am sure of it.

I can feel it,
the way people feel a
storm coming on.

But,
I am not the only one on the streets of your boom town,
claiming
there's gold in them hills.

Between he and I,
this town isn't
big enough for the both of us.

Only one of us can strike it rich.
Only one of can stake a claim.

Only one,
and my prospects are good.

And if it is fools gold,
so be it,
for I am fool.

I have my pick and shovel.
I have my matches
and dynamite-

and this town will go boom,
one way or the other.


11'

get wonderful

(B Side)

as i close my eyes
the phrase "get wonderful"
appears
in my mind.

What would it mean
to "get wonderful?"

who or what is it?
Where to look?

I haven't felt wonderful,
in a long time.

the idea of
feeling that way appeals to me.

Until I can figure this out,
I go back to sleep,
slip into the darkness
and forget about how
wonderful I'm not.


11'

They always come in twos

They always come in twos
its just the way it
is for me.

women,
as if there is some
alarm that goes off
that they hear.

as if there is a
mating season
particular to me.

They always come
in twos-
and sometimes
one is sent by the heavens
and one is sent from hell
to test
my faith for the other,
and sometimes I fail.

But that is fine, because
I can always sing for one and cry for the other
The poems
do not care who they name, as long as they name.

and sometimes,
both are a
mistake-
but that is never the tragedy.
for
the real tragedy is that they
also leave in twos.

so now that one, is long gone,
(for better or worse)
there is only you left-

and I would find any other to fill the air with noise,
to feed with her cruelty and immaturity,
to waste my time,
to be reckless with my heart
if it meant
the law  is obeyed and you stay a little longer.


11'

What is the point

What is the point of it all?
the point of
all this misery
and glory to find the words.

What is the point of all
this poetry?

It is the point between
madness and love

It is the point between
helpless and hunter

it is the point between
you and me


but mostly,
when i was 15
I swore 
to fall on the 
point of her
sword


if I ever stopped trying
to please her...


11'

Good at Being Pretty

She is good at being pretty.

Her hair long and brown
like a perfect horses tail.

Her
eyes are brown like  marbles,
and the best part is-
there are two of her
walking the earth.

The universe thought there weren't enough trees
or clean rives,
so they gave the world two
of her. 

Twin sisters.

I once ran into one of them while at dinner.

I waved
but she didn't recognize me.
(I guess it was the sister I didn't know.)

That is until,
the other sister comes in
and I wave again.
(she didn't recognize me either.)

When you're pretty
you don't have to wave at anyone-
remember anyone's name-
laugh at anyone's joke-

You don't have to be
pretty on the inside.

She's good at being pretty,
good at being a girl.
So good the
universe made two.

I'm not very good at being handsome,
but
I will wave at you,
remember your name
laugh at your joke.

I'm not much
good at being a man-
 but then again,
there is only one of me...

11'

Mr. Wonder

For Stevie Wonder

That funky baseline-
the horns come in
and your
voice
begins the fireworks

Mr Wonder is
blind
but sees
things most people
never will-

Mr. Wonder
sees  sound
like
auras-
like
Christmas lights-
like
stars-

Having inner-visions
turning the darkness
into light

Creating Music
 Setting Fire
Freeing the Soul

Forging sound that
has helped heal hearts-
perhaps even mine.

And some will say
being blind is a tragedy.
 Well,
that all depends
on how you see it.

11'

Haiku for the hero

i am the villain
but only in your story
a hero in mine

11'

Poor Boy

As we left, we hear the sound of
a car scraping
against the ground, so we look over.

a young man gets out of his souped up
car
getting on his back to look under his bumper.

For a moment
I think the car will take this chance to seek
revenge for something.

But nothing.

We keep walking and then
the young man guns his engine.

He speeds away
as if fleeing
a crime scene-

As if us witnessing this event
made him less of  a man.

Poor boy,
I feel bad for him,
he thinks he has so much  to prove to everyone.
and failing miserably


11'

Everything Must Go

We are going out of
Business!

Everything must go!

Everything on clearance,
Priced to move.

Hand holds priced to
go.

soft embrace and kisses
still
factory sealed
30 to 40 percent off

Hopes and
Dreams
at 50 -70 percent off.


We are going out of
Business!

Everything must go!

Our loss,
Is Your gain

Our loss
is Your gain

Our loss...